ring diggy ding ding

Seems that wanting to quit is a daily feeling for me. Actually I’ve been showing the same weird pattern lately:

-morning gloom: 30 minutes to get outa my bed.
-half aware preparing for school: really, what the hell do I wear somethimes. >_<
-bicycle rush: music + waking up
-happyhappyhappy: people make me happy. I’m a social thingbabbob.
-bicycle cooldown: ugh going home.
-home blues: … crap at home.

Sometimes I do homework. I mostly just do the stuff I have to hand in, because I’m pooped in the evening.

But I don’t wanna give up. I think it’s the happy hormones of exercising.

Writing a novel is such a pain in the ass.

I don’t know how some do it… Then again, those books are crappy (no offense. not really no offense. Take offense, try and do something about the writing).

Edit projects of now:
-Bday amv for Dave, Dare You To Move  & EF – tale of melodies.
-Funfun stuff, Marshmellow – Various
… and some other crap x’D.

-Out.

PS.  This post isn’t that angsty (: !

This is still an angsty blog.

Though I’m having lotsa fun and amusing myself at school, as soon as I get ‘home’, I get rather depressed, down, bitchy, angry. Though it’s not really the fault of my family, it still is because of them.
At the moment my confidence in all my ’skills’ is zero, perhaps even minus seventeen.
I nearly have no time for myself, I have to make time to do things important for a human like eat, drink and shower. Why? Because that ridiculous school I attend thinks that we teens have lotsa time to do a 3 assignments each week. Big assignments too:
-cultural assignment: attend a cultural event and write a review and answer questions about it.
-write stories, write comparative commentaries.
-don’t lag behind other homework for every subject.
-learn and start ahead for each test week ( a week after every term filled with tests ).

I do have that time, I admit, but then I would be busy for school almost 24/7 if I’m allowed to sleep.

(: love my life.

don’t think stuff like: you have a chance for a great future and sympathize with people in poor countries.

Not everyone makes it. Not everyone has a grand life and a chance for a job. My chances in this society is around… tiny, like my height (na-ah, no height complex, absolutely not. HAHA).

People in poor countries are poor because the ‘western’, ’sophisticated’ countries like these are ‘rich’. If Europe hadn’t meddled with Africa, Africa would be much better off, I think. Besides, every society has its problems.

Poor countries will become less poor if governments (and other people in a ‘high’ and ‘mighty’  position) stopped caring about money that much.

…

Anyway.

As I was talking about myself and not the world. I just want to screaaaaaaaam!! ARGH!

Luxuries.

Why do people want big televisions that costs so much and consume so much energy?

If your eyesight is that bad, get glasses,  not a huge tv.

let’s.

I’ve been really depressed lately, but I’m doing better now ^^ !

I’ve been watching lotsa anime and I’ve made an account on My Anime List.

hmm… what else to say.

not much :3

please look foward to writing-posts ^^

its mah bday!!

^^ I’m 17 now.

o:

When I saw you I felt strong.
For me there’s nothing to hold on
to this feeling of immortality.

I dunno what that’s about.
I just came into my head with a certain melody.

Myself [short short story]

Dark. Cloudy. Endless oceans. Somewhere was a small island. Guess who was there? I was, but I was also on a ship trying to find myself. I couldn’t connect with myself, so I didn’t know where to go. The more I thought the harder it became to steer the now small boat. Water tried to break the boat in half or in fours. Perhaps it wanted the boat in six pieces. I saw an island, something was on it. I rowed my boat towards it. It took too long now I saw my destination, something else than the sea, but it was short compared to the time I was here. I looked forward to see myself. But when I saw the thing on the island I was disappointed. It was a tree. A short tree. Well at least I could sit down for a while. Where was I going next? Did it really matter? Where ever I was going, I ended up nowhere. After the eight island I gave up. Searching for myself was really hard. Why did I have to look for me? Because I had the boat? But I am also standing somewhere. Waiting. With nowhere to go. I sat on the beach, leaning on the tree. This one was even smaller and I somehow ended up swimming and resting on a plank of the boat. I closed my eyes. Moving I was going nowhere. Sitting I was going nowhere. I’d rather sit now. Perhaps… Going no where… If just the time moved for me… I’d still meet myself?

Hello. [not a happy post at all]

Train. Sea. Intoxication. Bridge. Traffic.

Hmm should I?

Then I’d be done with this crap.

For good.

:l

Either you want it or you don’t. And if you say you don’t then don’t imply you do.

I don’t do that type of girl talk.

-

I don’t want to always show consideration. I wish she’d stop thinking of herself as always the victim.